
As Oscar Wilde once quipped, “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” In our rush to embrace AI-generated content, we seem to be channeling Wilde’s self-deprecating wit, but without his underlying brilliance.
This week, my inbox greeted me with an invitation from a major South Australian industry body that began with this gem: “Elevate your morning with inspiration and connection!” It’s the kind of phrase that makes you wonder if they’ve outsourced their personality to a particularly uninspired robot.
Even Jerry Seinfeld is on top of this flaw in humankind, recently poking fun at our collective AI absurdity on Fallon Tonight, pointing out how we’re managing to make even artificial intelligence stupid through our laziness.
@fallontonight Jerry Seinfeld has lots of thoughts about A.I. 🤣 #FallonTonight #TonightShow #JerrySeinfeld #JimmyFallon
♬ original sound – FallonTonight
The Porsche Principle: When Your Tools Own You
I’ve been reading Simon Squibb’s “What’s Your Dream,” where he describes making his millions, buying a Porsche, and then realising the car had bought him. It’s a perfect analogy for what’s happening with AI in business communication. Just as Squibb’s Porsche became his identity, businesses are letting AI become their voice, their personality, their everything.
The crucial difference? At least the Porsche had style.
The Curious Case of Corporate Conformity
Here’s the thing about AI: it’s rather like having a brilliant but socially awkward intern. It knows all the right words but hasn’t quite mastered the art of putting them together in a way that doesn’t sound like it’s trying too hard to impress at the office Christmas party.
Let’s be clear: the problem isn’t AI itself. The problem is humans being lazy about using AI. It’s rather like having a masterful sous chef and deciding to microwave a frozen dinner anyway.
The Real Telltale Signs of Lazy AI Usage
While some misguided souls point to the Oxford comma as evidence of AI authorship (a notion that would have both Strunk and White turning in their grammatically precise graves), the true markers of lazy AI implementation are far more telling:
The “elevate” epidemic: If your content promises to elevate, transform, or revolutionise one more mundane business process, we might need to stage an intervention. Real transformation rarely announces itself with such fanfare.
The em dash deluge — when every other sentence — simply must — have multiple dramatic pauses. It’s like listening to William Shatner narrate your marketing copy.
The “gentle reminder” syndrome: Nothing says “I let AI write this without supervision” quite like starting emails with “Just a gentle reminder” or “I hope this finds you well.” It’s the corporate equivalent of small talk about the weather.
Beyond the Buzzwords: Reclaiming Authentic Communication
The irony isn’t lost on me that we’re using increasingly sophisticated technology to sound increasingly generic. It’s as though we’ve invented a revolutionary communication tool and are using it primarily to perfect the art of saying nothing at all.
What our South Australian industry friends (and countless others) seem to have forgotten is that communication isn’t about elevation – it’s about connection. And connection, dear reader, requires something that AI can’t generate on its own: genuine human perspective.
A Modest Proposal
Perhaps it’s time we established some ground rules for AI-assisted communication:
- If you wouldn’t say it over coffee with a colleague, don’t let AI say it in your emails.
- Every “elevate” must be matched by an actual, concrete benefit.
- For the love of clear communication, keep the Oxford comma. It’s not an AI marker; it’s a sign of respect for clarity and precision.
The Complete Catalogue of Corporate Clichés
Before we chart our path forward (oh dear, there’s one now), let’s compile a thorough catalogue of the linguistic offenders that signal your AI might be working harder than you are. Consider this your field guide to spotting artificial indolence in the wild.
The Vocabulary Offenders
Like a corporate buzzword bingo card come to life, these words have been “elevated” (there it is again) from meaningful business terms to mindless filler:
- “Elevate” – Because apparently nothing can simply improve anymore
- “Dive deep” – Usually followed by the shallowest analysis possible
- “Unlock” – As if every business insight is trapped in an escape room
- “Leverage” – When “use” feels too straightforward
- “Synergize” – A word that has never improved any sentence it’s been in
- “Empower” – The participation trophy of business verbs
- “Optimise” – Often used by people who have optimised their thinking right out of existence
- “Curate” – Because “choose” doesn’t sound expensive enough
- “Robust” – When you need to sound strong but can’t be bothered to explain why
- “Seamless” – Usually describing something with more seams than a patchwork quilt
The Descriptive Crutches
These are the adjectives that lost their meaning somewhere around 2010:
- “Cutting-edge” – Often describing technology that’s about as sharp as a bowling ball
- “Innovative” – When you want to sound special but can’t explain why
- “Transformative” – Because “it makes things a bit better” doesn’t sound impressive enough
- “Game-changing” – Usually changes the game about as much as moving a Monopoly piece
- “Paradigm shift” – The go-to phrase for people who’ve never actually shifted a paradigm
The Filler Phrases
These are the literary equivalent of clearing your throat:
- “It’s important to note” – A phrase that invariably precedes something that isn’t
- “In today’s world” – As opposed to yesterday’s world, or next Tuesday’s
- “At the end of the day” – When you need everyone to know it’s conclusion time
- “Moving forward” – Because time only moves in one direction anyway
- “Needless to say” – Yet they always do
The Academic/Corporate Jargon
Where simple ideas go to dress up in fancy clothes:
- “Holistic approach” – When you want to sound comprehensive without actually being comprehensive
- “Ecosystem” – Because “system” doesn’t sound organic enough
- “Actionable insights” – As opposed to those other insights you just keep in a drawer
- “Value proposition” – When “why someone should care” feels too direct
- “Thought leadership” – Often produced by those who do neither
- “Best practices” – Code for “what everyone else is doing”
- “Core competencies” – Things you’re good at, wearing a business suit
- “Strategic framework” – A plan that’s trying very hard to sound important
- “Mission-critical” – When “important” doesn’t sound important enough
- “Cross-functional” – Because “working together” sounds too straightforward
- “Pain points” – Problems that needed a fancier name
- “Circle back” – Corporate speak for “let’s talk about this later (or never)”
- “Touch base” – When “chat” feels too informal
- “Gain traction” – Start working, but make it sound like a 4×4 adventure
- “Move the needle” – Create measurable impact, but make it sound like we’re doing acupuncture
- “Future-proof” – A claim that will almost certainly prove ironic
- “Agile methodology” – Often used by organisations moving at glacial speed
- “Vertical integration” – Making your business taller, apparently
The Path Forward
AI is a powerful tool for content creation, much like a thesaurus is a powerful tool for writing. But just as you wouldn’t randomly replace words with their fancier synonyms and call it good writing, you shouldn’t blindly accept AI-generated content without infusing it with your own voice and perspective.
And to that South Australian industry body: we know you can do better. Your members deserve communication that feels less like it was processed through an algorithm and more like it was crafted by humans who understand and care about their needs.
After all, in the words of another great wit, Dorothy Parker, “The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.” Let’s maintain our curiosity about AI’s capabilities while remaining equally curious about maintaining our human voice in our communications.
And yes, I’ll die on the hill defending the Oxford comma, AI association or not.
Taking Back the Wheel
If you’re intrigued by the idea of using AI as a tool rather than letting it use you, I’m running a practical workshop that will show you how to do exactly that. We’ll explore how to train AI to understand your voice, enhance your communication, and maintain your authenticity in the process.
Join myself and Hayden Zammit Meaney from Tourism Accelerator us on Wednesday, February 19th, from 10 AM to noon at JDF Receptions in Windsor Gardens. This free workshop is specifically designed for small to medium businesses in the Port Adelaide Enfield area who want to harness AI’s capabilities without surrendering their identity in the process.
You’ll learn how to:
- Train AI to understand and enhance your authentic voice
- Create content that actually connects with humans
- Use AI as a brilliant assistant rather than a replacement for thinking
Register at Adelaide Business Hub for this complimentary session, including morning tea. Because the only thing better than learning how to master AI is doing it over a proper cuppa with fellow humans.