Here’s what my electrician never wondered: What’s it like to be one of my customers?
He never imagined the anxiety of trusting someone with three thousand dollars. The frustration of rearranging schedules around his promises. The cascading disruption when he didn’t show up. The erosion of confidence each time “lock it in” meant nothing.
He never asked himself: What would this feel like from their perspective?
Philosophers like Thomas Nagel asks whether we can truly know what it’s like to be a bat. The honest answer is we can’t fully step into another consciousness. But humans are remarkably good at trying. We anthropomorphise. We project our own experience onto others. We imagine ourselves in their position.
Your customers need you to do this work.
Stanley McChrystal writes in On Character: Choices That Define a Life about a principle that cuts through business complexity:
How you do one thing is how you do everything.
As an aside, that has become our family mantra to great effect, since we discussed it in our Talking About Marketing podcast, Season 6, Episode 8.
The electrician who doesn’t show up for the small job won’t show up for the big one. The consultant who doesn’t return calls during the pitch won’t return them during delivery. The supplier who’s sloppy with invoices is sloppy with quality.
Our customers watch how we handle details. They’re assessing whether we understand what it costs them to trust us.
What Actually Happened
Over summer, an electrician won my trust quickly. Arrived fast for a small job. Did solid work. I commissioned him for a larger project. Fixed price quote. Paid upfront (never again).
Then he disappeared.
Not dramatically. Just slowly. A family emergency. Feeling unwell. Weather too hot. Weather too wet. Always the same phrase: “Lock it in.”
That became his tell. Didn’t mean he’d locked anything in. Meant he wanted me to stop asking questions.
Over eight weeks:
- Seven rescheduled appointments
- My elderly neighbour waiting in heat for three hours
- Multiple family members coordinating availability
- Interstate trip nearly derailed
- Job left 80% complete
- Compliance certificate still missing two months later
The financial cost was $3,000. The real cost was dozens of hours managing disruption and complete erosion of trust.
The Theory of Mind Gap
Every broken commitment required me to:
- Rearrange my work schedule
- Brief family members
- Coordinate with my neighbour while we were away
- Adjust other tradespeople
- Push back commitments
- Manage rising frustration
In his mind he was “just running late” but in our world he was asking multiple people to reorganise their lives around his disorganisation.
This is the theory of mind gap. The inability to imagine what your behaviour looks like from the customer’s perspective.
I would have referred him to dozens of business owners who need electrical work. That goodwill was there. Instead it rotted because he never wondered what it felt like to be waiting for him.
The Discipline That Matters
Here’s a mantra that is worth all of us repeating:
Stop overcommitting. Book realistic timeframes. Build buffer into your schedule. Take fewer projects if that’s what honest capacity looks like.
Communicate before they have to chase you. Ten seconds to send a message saves hours of relationship repair. If plans change, tell them the moment you realise, not the moment they ask.
Finish what you start. That last 20% matters more than the first 80%. The compliance certificate. The final invoice. The follow-up call. Close it out properly.
You might be thinking that this is a very low bar, that these aren’t extraordinary standards. You are right. Sadly, though, in 2026, such basics are the gold standard, relatively speaking.
The Monday Question
Ask yourself: What’s it like to be one of my customers right now?
Are they waiting for something I promised? Are they wondering if I’m still committed? Are they rearranging their life around my schedule? Are they anxious about whether they can trust me?
If the answer to any of those is yes, what needs to happen next?
Pick three things this week:
- One commitment you need to communicate about more clearly
- One outstanding item you need to close out properly
- One place where you can reduce someone’s anxiety by just following through
Your competitors are teaching customers not to expect much. You can exceed those low expectations by understanding what it feels like to be on the receiving end of your service.
Do that consistently. Close the theory of mind gap.
How you do one thing is how you do everything. Your customers are watching.
PS I am writing this for me as much as for you. Timeless lessons always bring value every time they are remembered.